The tests requested by Dr Doom consisted of an Ultrasound Guided Biopsy and a Broncoscopy. The Biopsy is self explanatory, the Broncoscopy consists of a thin piece of hose with a light and a camera at the end. The procedure is fairly basic, they give you some mild sedatives which relax you and a couple of syringes of a clear snotty fluid which you snort and has the effect of numbing your nose and sinus cavity. Once you are suitably numbed up, they stick the pipe up your nose and down into you lungs to see what they can see. In my case it was not a lot.
About 10 days after the biopsy I had my second encounter with Dr Doom’s bedside manner. This time however he decided to give it to me over the phone. It was early afternoon one Monday and I was at home on my own when the phone rang and Dr Doom’s familiar tones resonated in my ear. “Mr Smith, we have the results of your biopsy, you have Epitheliod Hemangioendothelioma and we need to perform an urgent pneumonectomy and remove your chest lining. I have made arrangement for you to be admitted to hospital the day after tomorrow (Wednesday) and will perform the surgery on Thursday”. My response was short and a little predictable “I have what?, can you translate that into English for me” . You have a malignant tumour in your right ling which has spread to your chest lining and we need to remove both. I managed to utter “I’ll call you back” into the receiver and hung-up. The next half an hour is a bit of a blur but consisted mainly of me losing it completely.
In hindsight Dr Pneumathorax’s words slipped to the bottom of my list of "phrases you don’t want to hear uttered from a Doctor" and Dr Doom’s went straight into number one on the list.
When I finally managed to get it together, I started the long list of phone calls to family, friends and work colleagues to explain what was going on. At this point it all seemed a bit surreal, almost like it was happening to someone else. I broke down a few times on the phone but in the main held it together reasonably well. Three days later I was coming too after the removal of half my breathing apparatus and other parts of my body I would rather not have lost.
Items removed from me – One Lung (in need of attention) & One plural chest lining (again in need of some attention)
Substances administered – Drugs, Drugs & more Drugs. Too many to list in fact but included various anaesthetics, antibiotics, morphine, codine, antacids, anti sickness, epidurals, paracetamol, diclofenac and the list goes on and on…………
